I am 58 years old. I see a lot of posts about age and I notice older people write "years young", but I am not young. I left my youth behind me, without regret (ok, so maybe I do have some regrets, but I don't dwell). Anyway, moving on, I have spent almost all of my adult life working way too hard in a work force made for men but made strong by women. I truly believe that to be a true statement. I had my first born child at 24, by the time I was 30 I had three sweet babies and I adored being a mom! I did not work outside of the home from the birth of my first until my third child was 3. Before then I worked multiple jobs at a time, to survive (Yes I feel like I have spent an ENTIRE lifetime in survival mode!). I found myself single with three young children and very little monetary support and working full time in an industry I loved and hated at the same time. I liked the restaurant industry because it was mostly good to me and it allowed me to work at night while my babies slept, freeing me up during the day to be with them. But like anything in life we find ourselves wanting more. More responsibility, more money, more time, better food, a better home and so on and so forth. So I went to college full time, worked full time and mom'd full time. I don't mention this because I think it makes me any kind of way, just that there are a lot of women and men doing the same everyday, scrapping and scrimping and working to support their families. It was hard, it was rewarding, it was soul crushing, it was egoistic, it was suffering. I made choices that I shouldn't have, I made choices that were awesome, I (we) lived OUT LOUD. Through it all, I sketched, I colored, I created, I crafted - I had to ALWAYS be creative in some form or manner - I became a cook, then a chef and I found my place in the world, a place that felt right and good and hard and rewarding and time consuming and sometimes even profitable. And I could create art with food!
I did that for a very long time in different places in the US, all over Oregon and then finally on a tropical island (where I firmly believe I lived in a former life! But I'll talk about that at another time).Â
The culinary industry, talk about a crazy world! I am grateful that I never gave into alcohol abuse, or taking drugs because it is a world that invites us to loosen ourselves, to give up our hold on reality for a bit to relieve the immense stress of the job.
When I look back, when I allow my mind and heart to wander back in time, I see where my heart and soul found peace, where I found my greatest reward first through the birth of my children (my most beautiful masterpieces) and second through art, and most recently painting.
It is color and brush strokes, creating shapes and shades and depths in color and form. So at 58 I am finally home, I am at peace. It is no longer about survival it's about truth, the truth of who I am at 58 and leaving an industry that has kept me, for collectively over 30 years, on the hustle. The hustle is over and peace has been invited in - to reside for the rest of my life.
I am an artist and for the rest of my years I will be making art and growing in art. With sketching, painting, creating, and letting the color take over. This is what I have been training for.
It is time.
I will be using this platform as a journal, as a place to be free with my words, a place to share my art and to share my growth - no matter how old we get we are never too old to learn and grow.
So stick with me .... it is only going to get better.
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